Aftershock

why do we wait?
to get treatment or medication,
after sickness has already taken action?
delay and denial..
ignoring the symptoms.
why do we wait to react,
til we've become the victims?

why do we wait?
til it's too late?
why do we change?
wait till we're deranged?
when theres no way out?
with no voice left to shout?

its all in the aftershock.
whats thrown in our faces to mock
us and make us see
what our eyes and our lies
couldnt make us be.
a rude awakening to the realities.
a syringe to drain out our fantasies.
the aftershock.


♥ ERATO

inspiration:
House, the tv show
Aftershock by Drew(ofVarsity)

out the window.

from the inside looking out,
it's hard to realize whats it all about.
it's blurry through the window,
with dirty smudges on the pane,
i glance at you and wonder,
do you feel the same?
i take two steps back, after one toward the door,
cuz i cant think of much to say anymore.
ive run out of feelings, and run out of words.
i just look out the window, and leave you to the birds.
i shouldnt fret this time; cuz this isnt anything new.
the only difference now though, is that im letting you
be you.

♥ ERATO

location: cypress library.
inspiration: feelings of distant nostalgia.

tick tock, tick tock.

tick tock, tick tock
nobody likes the pressure of a clock.
so stop. for a minute. and realize.
look into the horizon & see the sunrise.
look into your neighbor's eyes,
and tell me.
are you holding something back?
is this moment filled with lack?
lack of words, lack of thought, lack of action.
tick tock, tick tock.
think back for a second. are there words in your head?
anything you've never said?
dont let the ocean breeze, take your whispers across the seas.
dont let your sealed lips, give your neighbor an eclipse..
of your mind. of your feelings. of your love.
tick tock, tick tock. lets bring back the clock.
theres 9 months left until june 09.
dont wait until you've run out of time.
cuz with every sunrise, theres a sunset.
and you dont want your heart morose with regret.
tick tock, tick tock.
dont just stare at the sky.
turn to your neighbor, and genuinely say hi.
cuz sooner or later, it'll be time to say bye.

(senior sunrise, september 15, 2008)

♥ erato

in bed

another defjam/spokenword attempt. i liked my idea.

Last night, i slept with Regret.
i let his fingers run over my body,
felt and smelt his sweat take over me..
last night i slept with Regret.
and when i woke up, i did forget.

Last night i slept with Envy.
i felt him travel down my back,
while wondering.. what do i lack?
last night i slept with Envy.
i laid there helpless, as he raped me...

And tore me up, inside and out;
Though in pain, i could not shout!
I thought myself a whorish wreck,
but still i let them kiss my neck.

Last night i laid in bed.
alone with thoughts in my head.
Lost the innocence from deep within me,
Regret & Envy.. took my virginity.

♥ erato

Try Again.

(i started getting into defjam poetry. this is meant to be spoken word, so it sounds better if i would "perform" it. hahahaha.)

What happens when you try? You try and you try, but you can't win.
You try and you try, but it's always a dead end. and you cant help but try again.
Cuz there's always hope.
False or true, it dont matter to you. This hope.
False or true, you still choose.. To forgive. To condone.
Like everything that went wrong was a fault of your own.
Like the words in your heart were spoiled fruit, overgrown.
And you cant see. you cant believe.
That he's suffocating.
Suffocatin like, he sees you too much, and he's tired of your touch.
Suffocatin like, he's tired of your calls and texts, like he always knows what comes next.
But you're scared to let him breathe..
and the closer you hold him, the sooner he leaves..the sooner you cry.
and you cant wait, to see him again to call him again. You vacillate.
You dont understand, he dont reach for your hand.
Not anymore. not like before.
His eyes dont sparkle when the sky is clear,
his arm dont tremble when you bring him near
Not anymore, not like before.
And you want to speak up but youre afraid to say,
cuz anything serious will drive him away...
Away on a road, on a different path.
And you end up reminiscin' about the love that you had.
What happens when you try? You try and you try, but you can't win.
You try and you try, but it's always a dead end. And you cant help..
but try again.

♥ erato

Then and Now

> I still remember our first HELLO,
back when we had separate lives, back when we were 'just friends'
> I still remember our first DANCE,
back when i was afraid to love, afraid of the uncertainty.
> I still remember our first KISS,
back when i was first beginning to live.
And now things have changed.
> Every KISS has made me realize,
that i never lived before your love.
> Every DANCE reminds me
how good it feels to be in love..
> And with every HELLO, i fall in love all over again,
loving you more and more each day.
> And now our separate lives have become one..
binded with an everlasting love.
♥ erato

The Way You Make Me Feel

How did you know, i needed someone like you?
You came at the right time, and showed me love is TRUE.
You saved me from my misery, a nightmare i had made,
but just some time spent with you & those worries began to fade.
You brought joy to my world & made the sun shine bright
I went through such lonely days, but you made me feel alright.
You gave me hope, to be happy once more,
then you made me realize, i've NEVER felt this way before.
Every time im with you, you always make me smile.
You're the reason i am happy; you make my life worthwhile.
I have to hold my breath when i look into your eyes.
You've touched me internally, and my heart no longer cries.
It's really quite amazing, the way you make me feel..
That's why i believe, that our love is for REAL (:
♥ erato


R<3S

Finding Your Smile.

I see you in the corner, of my wandering eyes,
i see you talking, laughing, and then my spirit flies.
For i look and then i see, your very catchy smile
which makes my insides do somersaults, and makes me wanna smile!
I see you smile and laugh, and i want to be with you..
to smile and laugh right by your side, but will you want me to?
You dont have to like me, as much as i do you..
but please, can i not just, smile & laugh with you?
♥ erato

Thorn.

When things begin to CHANGE and things just arent right,
she then begins to worry and her thoughts begin to fight.
she knows that something's there, begin a hurtful thorn..
she saw a kind of look, this she could have sworn.
not a look of happiness, but not a look of hate
she wonders why things are, and what brings her to this fate.
She hates not knowing what it is, and just knowing that its THERE,
has she done something wrong? has she been unfair?
♥ erato

So Alone..

Why is it that i feel oh so alone?
Whose fault is it? none other than my own..
I know i broke his heart by what i chose to do
but i not only broke his heart, i broke my own too.
The feelings i feel inside of me are really hard to explain..
so i'm sorry i did what i did, for i know i caused you pain.
I had to say 'goodbye' cuz i felt it was right to do.
Cuz there's something that you dont know..that i now know is true..
♥ erato